Kris, a fellow "old" as he calls us (We call ourselves) since we're, well, Old. He's actually my only friend here who's my age, and technically, he's still even a little bit younger than me. Most importantly, Kris is a deadpan stealth bomber. If you're not listening closely, you'll miss all the hilarious things he says. We think he got that stealthy because we're pretty sure he works for the CIA. No, really. Besides that, he's probably the person at St. Andrews that I'm most jealous of, reason to be explored shortly.