preparing for expatriotism

Because I like making lists, and because I don't sleep well (especially in heat like this-- yesterday was the hottest day in NYC in 33 years) I spend a lot of time cataloguing my resources, what I have. What I can sell. What's my life worth. I've made a habit of not collecting too many things that are actually worth something-- monetarily, at least. I own no car, no property, all my real valuables (family stuff) are with my dad. But nevertheless, I make lists. 


Depending on how early in the evening it is in my insomnia, or what kind of commute I'm having, while I make these lists, they often end up being Top things I'll miss about New York, about America in general, about this friend or that friend. OR Top things I will NOT miss about New York, certain people, situations, and especially America in general. 


I think all the time about beliefs... sort of an opinion on steroids in some cases. From what I know of modern Scotland, most people are a bit private in  their beliefs. And as far as ancient Scots go (especially when compared to the rest of history's violent people) they seem more fixed on dying for what they believe in than killing for it. I have no problem with people who are willing to die for their beliefs, but I have quite a few problems with those who feel it's within their rights to kill, threaten or antagonize others in order to propagate their beliefs. It's a kind of arrogance that makes me want to crawl out of my skin. 


For all I know, Scotland may be just as awful and demoralizing when it comes to many of the things that enrage me or depress me to the point I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. But for now, I get to live in a dreamy place where Scotland has no Teabaggers, no Glenn Beck, no genuinely mean-spirited ANONYMOUS online hate-mongers either of theatre or of politics like this bigot who is threatening and sickeningly calling out several people in his Louisiana community, including my wonderful and smart-as-hell friend, Lamar. 


It's stuff like this that makes me just sick. And ready to live on a peaceful, foggy beach. Definitely read Lamar's account of what this guy called his "internet death wish" (in fact, read Lamar in general-- he's great) but don't click through to the other guy. I'm not trying to send him any traffic or validate his behavior. Let's just say I'm adding him to my growing list of things I won't miss about America. 


“ If patriotism were defined, not as blind obedience to government, nor as submissive worship to flags and anthems, but rather as love of one’s country, one’s fellow citizens (all over the world), as loyalty to the principles of justice and democracy, then patriotism would require us to disobey our government, when it violated those principles. ” 
-Howard Zinn