SmashCap - Ep. 3 - "Life is long. Theatre is longer."

Episode 3, "Mr. DiMaggio" was simultaneously the blood-boiling-est & the boring-est of the eps so far for me. And not just because of the extended presence of cheating Will Chase. Or the fact that the actual plot line for his & Deb Messing's characters on the show is as... you guessed it...cheaters. Here's the good and the bad from last night's offering. 


The Goodish
- That class & Oxbridge Brit-off between Dev & Derek Wills. What's funny/sad is that it's not an exaggeration. How you can tell that both of them have been in the states for too long is how direct they were about it.  They've learned to ditch the subtext. "I can hear it in the O's." "Oxford." "The other place." My favorite line was from Derek: "Oh, I'd forgotten this game."


- More Dylan & Becky Ann Baker!
- The best chemistry on the show belongs to Angelica Huston & Jack Davenport
- Jack Davenport reminding Kat McPhee that musicals take FOREVER.
- "We'll be at Vintage." I'm glad they pick bars where people actually go. 
- I sort of want one of those animated GIFs of Deb Messing justifying adultery. That's rich. 


- Ellis, the too-big-for his-britches assistant. Dude is certainly scheming. And way ahead of himself. LIKE WAY. The stealing of notebooks. The eavesdropping. The ownership of ideas. See, there's a difference between a concept and an idea. And I don't think anyone would actually have kept him around that long. But it is good plot for the show. For the record. FOR the record. I just want to say this now because I was personally offended during the scene: if Steven ever has an assistant and that assistant ever blocks my entrance to a room or says, "Maybe you should give Steven some space," not only will I fire that person, but I will crush them. Just FYI. 


The Badish
- Sorry, but Kat McPhee lacks any and all energy. Even when she's performing. Did you for one minute believe her "Redneck Woman?" More like "Beige-neck." Girlfriend is neutral. I hate to pull a VOTE! quote here, but "You're not even vanilla. You're like unscented deodorant." I think they've officially lost me on her. 


- A Bruno Mars show at La Mama? 'Member when I said kudos for reminding us that the timeline of a musical is LONG? Right, now apply that here. Bruno Mars has been on the scene like a year. He doesn't even have enough material to make a show out of. They clearly just wanted to do that specific song with Will to ape his last performance as Roger in RENT. La Mama does some strange shit (I lived across the street for a lonnnng time) but never that crazy. And never that commercial. Ridiculous. 


- "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" is the weakest song to date. Conceptually. Musically. Lyrically. I'm imaging the conversation I'd end up having with Steven if I sent him those lyrics. He'd zero right in there on the word "GRIP." That shit don't sing. And the song is boring. The clunky "Julia remembers how great her family is" montage over it didn't help. As my pal Kevin Michael Murphy (KMM) aptly tweeted, "Mr. & Mrs. Smith is the first song that will be cut from the musical." Truth. 


- Now that we've brought up DiMaggio.... Um, Will Chase looks NOTHING like Joe DiMaggio. There is nothing Joe DiMaggio-esque about him. In no world would I cast him as Joe DiMaggio. 


The Bottom Line
The plot itself is getting better, but too many Glee moments. More (good) original tunes. Less Bruno Mars and Gretchen Wilson please. Thanks for the reprieve on the tired adoption plot though. 

Barf.