Wednesday, June 30, 2010

staring down the brilliant dream


I was kind of a loner as a kid. I was super friendly, loved talking to adults, but was an only child and kids my own age didn't quite seem to understand me. I spent a lot of time (I mean a serious lot of time) up in this apricot tree at my house on Lander Place. Just dreaming. Thinking of stories with great characters. I spent a lot of time in my backyard on Fieldstone building adobe villages out of mud (???). When I moved to Vegas, I spent a lot of time in bedroom listening to music. So I've always had a lot of imaginary friends. 

Not in the looney way. Just hypothetical people in hypothetical situations keeping me company when there wasn't much of an alternative. Musicians and novel writers have always been my best imaginary friends. And even when I've been fortunate enough to meet or know these imaginary friends in real life, it's not on the same level as how I'm friends with their work. 

My best creative friends...they somehow seem to know what I need even when I don't know what I need. Whatever I'm missing, whatever challenge I walk into, whatever I need at that moment, there they'll be with the perfect thing. John Mayer always shows up with the album I need when I need it. And I remember standing in the Pittsburgh airport after some devastating news and Wally Lamb sent me a huge hug (After almost 10 years) with his new novel The Hour I First Believed, and it kept me company through my first winter of living alone in Queens, with no TV, and no man from Alaska, whom I'd really loved. 

The Indigo Girls in particular have been the most reliable. Every single time I felt some kind of hopelessness or trauma, there they were. 1200 Curfews when I was flailing to stay above water after YTI.  Come on Now Social at the end of high school, Become You while I was in Japan, All That We Let In at the end of college, etc etc etc. And now, this lovely two disc live album. And just...always with the poetry these guys. Which is literally why you can pull almost any lyric from almost any song and set it in a Keats poem. 

We've been staring down the brilliant dream
The Sun burns our eyes
We've been fighting for the love of our lives

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