Wednesday, April 7, 2010

how can love survive in such a graceless age?

I've been thinking a lot about responsibility these days. About the things we say to each other, promise to each other. And then what we do after we make those promises. Whether its a few weeks down the line or few years. I wonder if people know what it means to to be accountable anymore.

I sort of feel like our fixation on happiness has made "but I'm not happy" as the ultimate fly the coop excuse. And you can reneg on any promise you have made by saying you aren't happy. It's nice because it can get you out of ANYTHING. Your marriage, your soon to be born baby, your job...any commitment you might have made is optional, conditional on whether it's making you happy every minute of the day. Completely forgetting that-- You and You alone are responsible for your happiness. And, shit dudes, sometimes, you have made yourself responsible and accountable for and to others. It's not just about your every childish whim about what will make you happy.

If you keep doing that, you'll jump from situation to situation never being happy. Because what makes you truly happy is expanding within the commitments you have made. Growing with the people you are accountable to. And there is happiness in knowing you are person of your word. That you honor your responsibilities.

In this day and age, I wonder how I am ever supposed to believe the word of any man I meet. How I might even consider putting a fraction of my trust or well being in the hands of a generation of men who have absolutely refused to be men, take responsibility, honor what they say, what they promise, what they vow. Nothing seems to mean anything to them. Except their own priorities. And aren't all those responsibilities so INCONVENIENT? How am I supposed to believe that they won't run out at the worst possible time?

Certainly, there are times when you move past a place, a job, a relationship. But there's a classy exit strategy, if that's what you need. One that honors each of the experiences you're graduating from. If you don't-- if you cop out of everything, sacrificing your word & your honor so you can pursue every little thing you want, you will never ever be happy. And worse than that, you'll be a coward.

I could live with a lot of disappointments in life, but I could never live with being a coward.


  1. love love love this. just what we were talking about when you were here. you are so right on.

  2. Ry,

    I think you will find the right guy someday, like I will find the right gal. It just sucks that the people in our generation don't have their heads on straight.

  3. I suppose I should clarify. I'm not talking about myself in this post or anything done to ME recently. I'm talking in general and about a lot of douchebag dudes who are TERRIBLE: Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Tiki Barber and more specifically some people I know doing terrible things to some dear friends of mine. clarify. :)


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